Fun With Bandits

Kehle of Viridian:

Skellier of my crew was on a pillage. I checked to see where he was and saw he was alone and I thought it’d been some time since he said he was on a pillage and maybe he was just moving supplies or something. So, I asked him if he was still on a pillage and due to his lack of punctuation I was unsure of his response. He was either running a pillage that crew could join only if they wanted to battle navigate, or he was running a pillage for crew only and wanted to know if I wanted to battle navigate. Since I’m novice able in bnav I didn’t think that was the one he meant.

---

Arachne of Opal:

I took some of the learning puzzles. I’m not too sure how well I was doing though the only time I understood the duty report was when I did gut. I also took some sword training missions and one rumble training one by accident. It would probably help if I could speak German.

---

Arachne of Viridian:

I went back to my own ocean and pulled my hair back once more. People would freak out if I didn’t have it back because that’s the only way I’ve ever worn it in Viridian. Once back Bayne decided to start getting personal with me. The actual question is not repeated here, but it wasn’t really all that personal. At least it wasn’t naughty and that’s normally what I think people are going to ask if they want to know if they can get personal.


The Bootleg Bandits decided to start loading a war brig to head out and pillage. I decided to go with them, but I had to play a little coy first because it’s just my way.


I set up my hammock to start my lazing, but Diamond seemed to be under the impression that I was the entertainment. Wasn’t that long ago that Flood was telling me I sing and play the hornpipe too much.


The little greenie I’d met the day before was there. He calls himself a captain, but I don’t think he is.




I had to go down into the hold for something during the voyage and when I returned everyone got excited. By everyone I mean two pirates. I gave them both hearts in return however.


I did incredible in sails. I know a lot of you do incredible all the time, but it was my first time this year so I mark it down as a rare occasion and take note. I used CC’s line, “Nice incred, on wait that’s mine,” but I felt bad for using it, like I had no right to brag and people would think less of me for it. But when he does says it, it’s funny.


Diamond was in a very loving mood and said many times how much she loved the crew. Of course we love her back. We fight over who loves her more. We’re pirates, we like shiny Diamonds.




Elote wanted to make out with me, but Palusia said we couldn’t. I wouldn’t anyway, I’m about to be married to Captain Flood. . . again. But Palusia swooshed down the mast and Falbard told her she couldn’t swoosh, which started a whole ban on activities using words that had a double O.



After we won a fight and got some kraken’s blood people were cheering, but I pointed out they were not allowed to cheer and we couldn’t take the blood, because we couldn’t loot the ship. Fal then took back his ban on double Os.


I found what happened to Lawson. Apprently he ran off to become a brigand. He’s gotten a tan and has grown his beard out more, but I can tell it was him.


When it came time for me to say goodnight to everyone, Fal decided to start stalling me again he like used to. Works every time. You’d think I’d just ignore it, but there’s this little voice that says he might actually want something. Diamond then also joined in on that fun.

Aphrodite Still Rocks [Ara]

The day started out great with Bayne giving me a blank agreement that I could fill in later as to what he was agreeing to. That was awfully nice of him.


Tikao petitioned Aphrodite to get Vargas an invitation to my wedding, but Aphrodite said she couldn’t do it, that Daddy doesn’t listen to the OMs. It was a nice try though.




I jobbed for Atlantis with the Bootleg Bandits. Falbard was very happy to see me, but he shouldn’t have been. I didn’t do so well in my puzzles and I set a tranny off like a fire across the deck.


On the plus side, I’m now illustrious in sailing. I’m shedding more and more of my alt roots everyday. Alright, I admit it, I claim I’m allergic to alts because I used to be one. Alts are a subclass of people in on the ocean and it’s been a long hard road to get out of that rut.


Mad Maeven said she wasn’t brave enough to come with us at first and she’d since bought a badge but we were already underway. Thinking she might be like me and looking for any excuse for someone to hold her, I commented that she was afraid and needed to be held. She proved a little more feminist than myself however and took slight offense. Or maybe she is more like me and wants to be the one to initiate the holding. I like to stab my men so they can’t run away as fast. I don’t like running.



I wasn’t getting into very many of the frays so I tried to bribe Diamond. That still didn’t work and I only ended up in one fray in the entire trip. Next time I’ll just have to comment before we head out that I want in on every fray. Back when I used to go with Hawkings all the time, Joly always knew to let me into the fray.






In regards to that tranny I set off. I didn’t know at first what I’d said to set her off. It appeared as if she were suddenly attacking me for no reason. It all started when she said she could win a pissing contest against a normal girl and I said normal girls don’t get into pissing contests. Apparently it was alright for her to use the word “normal” but not for me. So she looked for ways to slam me and discredit me. I didn’t let her. I didn’t even know she’d taken anything wrong until she called me a hater, then that’s when I realized she was overreacting to something that was said and apologized. Before that I thought she was just trying to be mean to me for no reason. The worse part of it, is that it had to happen with all my Bandit mates there to have to listen to the little tranny. Whenever you’re attacked like this, it always brings you down too, whether you respond or not. More so if you don’t respond, because people assume whatever is said must be true if you don’t deny it.

[22:44:09] Mischa says, "You must expel 300cc's of urine to pass!"
[22:44:19] Numbercrunch says, "wow thats a lot!"
[22:44:22] Divinewind laughs
[22:44:40] Matthe says, "pass what"
[22:45:07] Ummon says, "Mischa, careful who you get into a peeing contest with ;p"
[22:45:25] Mischa says, "Well, I know I could beat any "normal" girl ^_^"
[22:45:29] Matthe says, "u might put your eye out"
[22:45:50] Arachne says, "any 'normal' girl wouldn't get into a peeing contest."
[22:46:00] Mischa says, "<--- Tranny"
[22:46:04] Arachne says, "I know."
[22:46:10] Godfire says, "what has the world come to when normal is determined by a peeing contest"
[22:46:20] Ummon says, "Bladder is bladder."
[22:46:23] Mischa says, "And, FYI, I have been in a pissing contest with a normal gal"
[22:46:32] Falbard says, "TMI"
[22:46:34] Madmaeven says, "did she beat ya?"
[22:46:34] Mischa says, "So eats it"
[22:46:41] Mischa says, "No, I still have my wang"
[22:46:43] Arachne says, "she wasn't really normal then. . . just a natural woman."
[22:47:04] Bumspanker says, "oh thats something to be proud of"
[22:47:22] Mischa says, "Ara is obviously so uptight she can't pass wind"
[22:48:07] Mischa says, "Long pee is long"
[22:49:26] Godfire says, "woot"
[22:49:28] Godfire says, "top th and carp"
[22:50:06] Happos says, "i hate that you get a booch if you start too close to DR"
[22:50:14] Mischa says, "So, you guys that always tell everyone they topped the DR, did you not get enough hugs from mommy-kins, or too many hugs from Uncle Bad-Touch?"
[22:50:38] Arachne laughs, jealous of others more skilled than you?
[22:50:56] Mischa says, "Ummm I GM more than one duty"
[22:51:03] Mischa says, "Miss holier-than-thou"
[22:51:11] Rhoaleper jumps into the sea to escape
[22:51:22] Arachne says, "not being disgusted is not the same thing as being prude, English not your first language?"
[22:51:40] Mischa says, "I'm a published author actually..."
[22:51:59] Arachne says, "you’re the first tranny I've ever met that wasn't any fun."
[22:52:06] Divinewind says, "....."
[22:52:07] Mischa says, "I can guess why"
[22:53:07] Arachne says, "this tranny sure has it out for me. . ."
[22:53:26] Bayne says, "in what way Ara"
[22:53:56] Arachne says, "I don't know. I didn't do anything to her. I normally like trannies, they tend to be fun to be around, but this one is all claws and no fun."
[22:54:14] Mischa says, "So many crabs *Eyes Ara*"
[22:54:20] Bayne says, "maybe she’s jealous"
[22:54:41] Arachne says, "that's a contradiction, you keep claiming I'm uptight, can't be that and have an STD. . wouldn't be having sex."
[22:54:52] Mischa says, "It's actually "STI" now"
[22:55:10] Mischa says, "And guys like tight girls, no? *grin* don't come much tighter than you"
[22:55:30] Mischa says, "What were you saying about English? heh"
[22:55:36] Arachne says, "Are you flirting with me now?"
[22:55:46] Mischa says, "Sorry, I don't do kids"
[22:55:54] Falbard says, "Mischa, I grow weary. Give it a rest."
[22:56:09] Hahonine says, "as far as I can tell, this incessant bickering hurts the boat, and proves you both to be children"
[22:56:11] Mischa says, "Me? ha, she's the transphobe"
[22:56:31] Arachne says, "how can that be if I've already told you I like trannies, cause they tend to be fun? Another contridiction."
[22:56:34] Falbard says, "We're all delighted in your alternative sexuality...we'd like to focus on the game now."
[22:56:45] Divinewind laughs
[22:56:48] Mischa says, "Ok, I'll ignore the ignorant then"
[22:57:01] Falbard says, "A good practice in any case."
[22:57:09] Ye told Falbard, "sorry I stirred her up, not sure what I did to do that, she was just suddenly attacking me. . must have taken something I said wrong."
[22:57:25] Falbard tells ye, "Don't worry about it. It gave me a chance to shut him/her up."
[22:57:29] Mischa says, "I apologize as well, just some haters, I can't stand"
[22:57:47] Falbard tells ye, "Should have heard him/her Friday...yeeesh"
[22:58:59] Ye told Mischa, "if you took something I said wrong to make you believe that I'm sorry you feel that way. Might help to be less defensive and then you might have seen I didn't say anything hateful."
[22:58:59] Mischa is bilging and might be too busy to respond.
[22:59:50] Mischa tells ye, "Trannies don't like to be called anything different than normal women, you might think it's a compliment to say were "fun" but we don't want to be seen as any different to biowomen"
[23:01:06] Ye told Mischa, "actually when I said that I was referring to the girl you said was normal. That and I always get into those boys are disgusting banter with people. Never had anyone get offended by it before."
[23:01:06] Mischa is hauling treasure and might be too busy to respond.
[23:02:30] Mischa tells ye, "I apologize for jumping at your throat... if you get to know me, you'll know why they say I'm a +26 to morale"
[23:03:48] Ye told Mischa, "I apologize for saying something you could take wrong. I see how that might have come off like that, since it's just text and you can't hear my tone. We'll just put it behind us now."

My morale was completely shot by haters and lack of frays. Mean people suck, nice people rock! I had a little greenie trying to request to be my hearty and I denied him, three times. I then put myself on do not disturb and he sent me a tell, in which I realized it wasn’t a greenie. It was CC. Then to be cute, he rejected my hearty request.


I was tired but I thought I could handle a little action in the flotilla, since I never go, and Flood had asked me personally to go and he never does that. But I proved to be more tired than I thought and I didn’t make it past the jobbing phase.

Curses [Ara]

My mates were in the Cursed Isles and Tikao claimed Ramina made her booch somehow, but I don’t know how since Ramina and I were back on dry land.


Then I went to the Cursed Isles with my crew. Captain Corn was driving so the voyage got a little Corny, but that’s to be expected. Only he wouldn’t stay to say hi to Dad so I got upset. He gave me some drift wood to try and make amends later. He also gave me a new falchion to give away at the party after my wedding.




Then I jobbed with the Bootleg Bandits for another trip to the Cursed Isles. I ended up with a pair of lavender tights with lime patches. They call them pants, but they’re a bit too tight to be pants, so I call them what they are. I think the lavender tights looked rather good with my black and purple corset and my fancy black and purple boots, but the lime patches were a bit too much.



Falbard says, "There's no one behind you"
Arachne says, "There's no one behind you either"
Falbard says, "There's still no one behind you."
Falbard says, "And even though it might look like it, I'm not mad at you."
Arachne says, "Good, ‘cause it wasn't my fault. . . entirely."



Tikao commented that she wanted new boots, but Diamond reminded her she only had one foot to put a boot on. Tik can’t do a sexy walk like me in my tights, she has to hobble around wherever she goes.


Bayne was having difficulties. The little greenie that was crushing on Captain Corn had turned her attention toward Bayne instead. Apparently Phae had come around and told the greenie to back off her man. If I wasn’t about to be married I’d help Bayne out by claiming he was mine and making the greenie leave him alone.

Pirate Impersonator

The Bootleg Bandits were out on a voyage and I wanted to join them, only problem was they were already in battle. I waited, and waited, and waited until they finally came to get me. I don’t wait well.


The voyage was mostly over by the time I got there and I only got to help out in a couple of battles. I demanded to stay out longer, but Ribka had the funny impression she was running the pillage and I couldn’t tell her what to do.


So I hung around on deck a little after the pillage, as I often do.



Everyone started loading to go into a flotilla and I was tired so I headed home. While on the docks of Windward Vale a little alt came up to speak to me. I’m allergic to alts, but I stopped to speak back. He asked to join our crew and was having a hard time taking no for an answer. He keep telling me he was a big shot over on Sage. I jobbed him into our crew so the others could see what he was saying too, but even by the time I’d jobbed him I knew he didn’t stand a chance of getting in, and not only because we don’t job strange little alts off the docks.


He claimed he was a pirate on Sage called Narokisses, which I said was a bad name. The question that came to my head was wanting to know who Naro was and what he kissed. Tikao and myself both had informants over on Sage (alts logged in) that we were conferring with to check this little alt’s story. She told him he didn’t exist, so he told her she was wrong. I asked if he spelled his name wrong so he said he’d go check. He came back after a little while and suddenly changed his story. He wasn’t Narokisses from Rulers of Sage, he claimed he now was Narkissos from Spirit Wolves. Most pirates remember their own names, especially when they have decent stats like Narkissos. So I asked the little alt to go log into Narkissos to prove it was him and he ran.




So then my little informant over on Sage, who was Moonshade, decided to warn the captain of Spirit Wolves that she had someone trying to impersonate Narkissos. A very protective girlfriend got into a conversation with Moonshade as well, as first thinking it was Moonshade who was up to no good.




By the time I thought to report the guy the conversation involving him had scrolled away from the little chat log segment that the OM would have seen. All the OM would have seen was Bayne cussing, so I didn’t report Squirly for his impersonation of another pirate, which is in fact against the ToS of Puzzle Pirates. Yes, I’m a nerd and read them.

Randomness:



More Randomness: